It seems my go has a formula that never seems to fail: two steps forward, one step back. I feel as I've realized something, only my realization is that I don't understand anything.
Life is the same.
However, everything has seemed much clearer as of late. Instead of staring into vast nothingness, I can see glimmers of light poking through, both in go and my life.
My lack of updates is of course to be expected, having started a new working career at a supermarket. Everything has gone extremely well: after four weeks I was given my first raise - a paltry $0.25, but a raise nonetheless - and am currently being considered for a promotion. I've never been so happy.
But with highs, there must always be lows.
Now I've begun to contemplate what it is I want to do and what it is I have to do. With school rearing it's ugly head, and school payments rearing an even more petrifying figure, I've come to a crossroads: what will I be doing in nine months?
I'm, cross your fingers, graduating in May next year. I will have a degree, but my plan was to not have a simple associates degree. I was planning to transfer and move on to greener pastures; earn a bachelor's at a four-year school and begin my real working life then.
Now I'm considering whether or not I want to do that at all.
I love writing, obviously, and of course I want to pursue it as a lifegiver and a lifebringer, but I am being offered a great opportunity by a first-rate company who have been known to give back to their community.
Perhaps I'm overthinking. I have a knack of recalculating every step of the way - the same on the goban. If I hane here, it's the difference of one point, but I'm behind by three. Do I take the risk?
Well, do I?...
*************************************
In other news, I visited the Fort Lee Baduk salon for the first time since I began working. I was glad to see some familiar faces. There's a player I play on two stones who I haven't beaten yet (two games, lost the first by nine points and the second (today) by five). I played a new face I hadn't seen before on four stones and won comfortably. I also played Master Song and won quite handily by twenty points, my largest margin of victory against him. Perhaps I can convince him to let me put down only six next time...
Showing posts with label gu li. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gu li. Show all posts
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
Making friends (and rivals?)...
I visited the club again today and was given another warm welcome. As soon as I walked in the door they began waving and calling me over. The manager set me up with a player I hadn't seen yesterday. I walked around, checking out the game of the 1 geup I played the day before. He earnestly offered me a game, but I begrudgingly had to turn him down as I had a previous arrangement with the other player.
As I sat down, the manager told my opponent, Adam, to put down four stones. I was a bit surprised; I didn't want them overestimating my actual ability. Nevertheless, I won the first game by nine points. The second game finished much sooner, as he made a very elementary mistake that allowed me to kill his group (or how 95% of my games end up; my opponent making a mistake).
I felt great having won two games, but that natural high wouldn't last long. Without even being able to stand up and stretch, the manager sat down and told me to put down four stones! I wasn't sure exactly what strength he was, but seeing as to how I was given four stones, I'd venture to guess he's a 2 geup. All I knew about him from the other players was that he was an attacker; but then again, what Korean isn't?
Maybe it was my previous games that gave me an air of confidence, but I played very aggressively against the manager, something I don't tend to do against strong players. Unfortunately, he lived up to his style and easily destroyed me in the first game. However, I hunkered down and cleared my head as he went to have a smoke. The second game started a few minutes later.
I continued attacking him as strong as I could, and the game remained relatively even entering the early stages of the middle game. Then came what I could proudly say was my finest hour. All six of the players at the salon at the time huddled around our table. He started a ko in the lower right corner of the board and was using the boundless threats he had in the lower left to try and kill my large group in the bottom of the board.
However, I used the ko to my advantage. With the threats, I cut off a large group of his (the one he was trying to kill me with) in exchange for giving up the left corner. When I made the exchange, the crowd responded positively in my favor, with one of them saying, "nice job!"
Indeed I felt good until the scoring phase. It was then I found out I had lost by a single point. A soul-crushing point that I could have easily overturned had I not made one slack move amongst the twenty good yose moves. Alas, that is baduk...
As I sat down, the manager told my opponent, Adam, to put down four stones. I was a bit surprised; I didn't want them overestimating my actual ability. Nevertheless, I won the first game by nine points. The second game finished much sooner, as he made a very elementary mistake that allowed me to kill his group (or how 95% of my games end up; my opponent making a mistake).
I felt great having won two games, but that natural high wouldn't last long. Without even being able to stand up and stretch, the manager sat down and told me to put down four stones! I wasn't sure exactly what strength he was, but seeing as to how I was given four stones, I'd venture to guess he's a 2 geup. All I knew about him from the other players was that he was an attacker; but then again, what Korean isn't?
Maybe it was my previous games that gave me an air of confidence, but I played very aggressively against the manager, something I don't tend to do against strong players. Unfortunately, he lived up to his style and easily destroyed me in the first game. However, I hunkered down and cleared my head as he went to have a smoke. The second game started a few minutes later.
I continued attacking him as strong as I could, and the game remained relatively even entering the early stages of the middle game. Then came what I could proudly say was my finest hour. All six of the players at the salon at the time huddled around our table. He started a ko in the lower right corner of the board and was using the boundless threats he had in the lower left to try and kill my large group in the bottom of the board.
However, I used the ko to my advantage. With the threats, I cut off a large group of his (the one he was trying to kill me with) in exchange for giving up the left corner. When I made the exchange, the crowd responded positively in my favor, with one of them saying, "nice job!"
Indeed I felt good until the scoring phase. It was then I found out I had lost by a single point. A soul-crushing point that I could have easily overturned had I not made one slack move amongst the twenty good yose moves. Alas, that is baduk...
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