Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Glimpsing at the horizon through the fog...

It seems my go has a formula that never seems to fail: two steps forward, one step back. I feel as I've realized something, only my realization is that I don't understand anything.

Life is the same.

However, everything has seemed much clearer as of late. Instead of staring into vast nothingness, I can see glimmers of light poking through, both in go and my life.

My lack of updates is of course to be expected, having started a new working career at a supermarket. Everything has gone extremely well: after four weeks I was given my first raise - a paltry $0.25, but a raise nonetheless - and am currently being considered for a promotion. I've never been so happy.

But with highs, there must always be lows.

Now I've begun to contemplate what it is I want to do and what it is I have to do. With school rearing it's ugly head, and school payments rearing an even more petrifying figure, I've come to a crossroads: what will I be doing in nine months?

I'm, cross your fingers, graduating in May next year. I will have a degree, but my plan was to not have a simple associates degree. I was planning to transfer and move on to greener pastures; earn a bachelor's at a four-year school and begin my real working life then.

Now I'm considering whether or not I want to do that at all.

I love writing, obviously, and of course I want to pursue it as a lifegiver and a lifebringer, but I am being offered a great opportunity by a first-rate company who have been known to give back to their community.

Perhaps I'm overthinking. I have a knack of recalculating every step of the way - the same on the goban. If I hane here, it's the difference of one point, but I'm behind by three. Do I take the risk?

Well, do I?...

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In other news, I visited the Fort Lee Baduk salon for the first time since I began working. I was glad to see some familiar faces. There's a player I play on two stones who I haven't beaten yet (two games, lost the first by nine points and the second (today) by five). I played a new face I hadn't seen before on four stones and won comfortably. I also played Master Song and won quite handily by twenty points, my largest margin of victory against him. Perhaps I can convince him to let me put down only six next time...